My dear Friends,

back in November 2021, the Macklowe divorce hit the global headlines. Why? You might wonder, as almost 50 per cent of marriages end up in divorce so, what made that one so special?

Well, very simple. From a financial point of view, they were totally unprepared for a divorce. Apart from other pricey titbits, the Macklowes could not agree on the value of any of their assets- a quite impressive collection of art.

So the judge, growing rather tired amidst all this back and forth, ordered the art collection to be actioned so that the proceeds could be split equally. A pity, really! Amongst the collection were a Rothko, a Giacometti, and a Twombly. In the end, $676 Million was pulled and split equally between Linda and Harry Macklowe. But their collection, so painstakingly put together, was dispersed around the globe for good.

You and your husband might not have such a significant art collection over which you could squabble, but you certainly will have other, more profane financial issues that would need to be addressed in case of a divorce.

My own experience is pretty horrendous, emotionally but also financially. Listening to friends of mine who went through more or less friendly divorces-finances was always an issue no matter what, and mainly a complicated one.

Sadly all too often, women are financially worse off once they have signed the divorce certificate. The reason- most are ill-prepared.

This is why we need to talk about how women can be financially better prepared for divorce.

Uncomfortable discussions

Divorce, like money, is very uncomfortable to discuss. However, discussing a possible divorce even before you get married is probably the ultimate of all uncomfortable situations.

But whatever your financial situation is now, or however deeply in love you are, don´t allow your feelings to dominate you; in the end, you might have to pay a high price.

I am talking about having a prenup. Not having a prenup, whatever your financial situation, is like gambling on your future well-being.

Old traditions

You might not be aware, but prenups are not modern-day inventions. In the old days, marriages were usually arranged. Be it the simple farmer, the wealthy merchants or the aristocracy, marriages were arranged. Consequently, discussing financial matters prior to the marriage happening was the usual thing to do. Parents would, and in some countries, still do, negotiate marriage contracts, and they were first and foremost about assets and finances.

19th-century Romanticism actually brought an end to his tradition because marrying for love was declared the only accepted way. So, from then onwards, financial matters had to be kept out of the equation.

This is probably why it is so hard for us today to negotiate over money with our spouses, especially with future ones.

A taboo

Because money is such a taboo topic, we are ill-equipped to negotiate our financial future. This is certainly one reason that women are often financially worse off after a divorce than men.

Women need to change their mindset when thinking about prenups. For one, the connotation has to change from something negative to something positive. A prenup is not about not trusting the other one, nor is it about ripping the other off. But more like a well-negotiated agreement between two people who love each other so much that they do care for each other’s future well-being.

By the way, a prenup can go far beyond financial issues. It can contain anything a couple finds important to make their future relationship work.

The fact is, since money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, having these conversations before getting married can help build the foundation for a stronger and long-lasting union. Statistics show that only 5% of all divorces fall on couples with a prenup. That should really make this discussion a lot less uncomfortable.

Be prepared

From the beginning of your marriage, you should build an emergency fund. Be it with your own self-earned money or if you are financially dependent, you and your spouse should agree-in a penup-what monthly sum goes into your personal emergency fund. While negotiating, bear in mind this fund is not assigned to divorce only, but more importantly, to create a financial buffer that can keep you afloat( 6 months) in a time of emergency, like an accident, death of your spouse, unemployment or some unexpected medical care.

Financial matters

Divorce is more difficult than any other break-up. For one, whoever takes the first step to divorce, causes tremendous pain and emotional confusion, no matter what. Second, there are logistics to consider, like examining your finances and potentially looking for a new place to live. This can cause overwhelm or a sense of panic.

Because the emotional turmoil is so much, few think about having a strategy or what is best for themselves. Most are in flight mode and just want to get away from the situation.

But there are plenty of loose ends to tie up. How can you best protect yourself? Will you have enough money to make ends meet? What kind of living standard will you be able to afford? Who can help you? Where will you live?

There’s a lot to consider before you ever walk into a lawyer’s office.

There certainly is no blueprint, not only because every marriage is different but also because every break-up is different. Your country´s divorce laws will determine what steps you go through during the divorce process. However, whatever the law, you need to prepare to move forward.

Very personal

• ORGANIZE YOUR FINANCES: Get a clear picture of where you and your spouse stand financially. List what you jointly own or owe, from property to boat or art to mortgages or any debt you jointly signed up for. One of the primary goals of the divorce process is to make an equitable distribution of marital assets and debts. Determine what you personally own and what you owe, as this will not be split.
• GET YOUR OWN CREDIT CARD: Many couples have a shared credit card. Close the joint account and obtain a credit card that’s in your name only. So you can not be held responsible for any charges.
• FUTURE AND CURRENT INHERITANCE: Usually, an inheritance received before marriage is that person’s separate property. In most cases, the same applies to a future inheritance unless a prenup states otherwise.

Joint ventures

• CHECK JOINT FINANCIAL ACCOUNTS: It isn’t uncommon for a spouse to raid financial accounts. If you fear your spouse doing this, protect yourself by opening accounts in your name alone. Remove half the funds from the joint accounts and deposit them into new accounts in your name. 
• FREEZE JOINT INVESTMENT ACCOUNTS: If you have savings accounts, money market accounts, or any type of investment accounts, and you fear your spouse will tamper with those, you should consider having the accounts frozen.

Financial infidelity

• SECRET BANK ACCOUNTS: Getting a complete list of the assets can be challenging. Check if there have been large cash withdrawals. Check bank statements or if your spouse is stashing money inside a payment app. It is not uncommon during a divorce to find out that there are secret bank accounts or secret credit cards.
• UNDISCLOSED DEBT: If your spouse ran up debt during your marriage, you might be responsible for repaying these debts. Even if this happened without you knowing. Or if your spouse took it out and used the funds. The lender or creditor can come after you, and you will be responsible for paying it back.

Planning for the future

When getting a divorce, it’s important to assemble your team of professionals. Needless to say, during the divorce, your attorney plays the most important role. But you should also consider engaging a financial advisor, a tax advisor, and an estate planning attorney, too. After all, you need to secure your financial future, especially when you get divorced late in life.

Start by figuring out your post-divorce budget and determine what you will need to live on once you are divorced. Establish what your costs of living will be after the divorce. However, keep in mind that your “income” might drop drastically after such a major life change.

It is helpful to know what you will need financially in order to evaluate your settlement options. It is an important guideline for your attorney what he should ask for should your case go to court.

Finale

When will my divorce finally be final? It’s a nagging question many people find themselves asking while they deal with the fallout. The divorce certificate is the court’s formal order granting a termination of a marriage. Most divorce certificates cover the topics of alimony, division of debt, and the division of property. Divorce laws differ greatly from country to country, but as a rule of thumb, a divorce certificate states:

Moving on After

The process of legally calling it quits with your spouse will likely affect you in a number of ways. You might be traumatised, depressed, paralyzed or simply helpless.

For you to move on post-divorce means to heal your heart but also your purse. You need to get your financial matters in order so you can finally make peace.

TO-Do list

Not alone

Getting your trusted team of advisors in place to help you navigate a divorce is critical to getting through it, and so is having friends or a community to talk to.

There are numerous complex and emotional issues to endure, so you’ll want a strong team around you. Especially for high-net-worth divorces, it gets increasingly complex.

But however good your team or loyal your friends are, there is one sure thing. Once you split, so will assets. The lifestyle you’ve become accustomed to may get turned upside down. But rest assured, firstly, you are what you believe you are, and you will get used to it. Second, you are not alone! There are communities and your friends who will help.

Super Condensed

Women are often financially worse off once they have signed the divorce certificate.

Divorce, like money, is very uncomfortable to discuss. Because money is such a taboo topic, we are ill-equipped to negotiate our financial future.

Divorce is more difficult than any other break-up.

1. ORGANIZE YOUR FINANCES
2. GET YOUR OWN CREDIT CARD
3. Should you have FUTURE or CURRENT INHERITANCE it is yours.
4. CHECK JOINT FINANCIAL ACCOUNTS
5. FREEZE JOINT INVESTMENT ACCOUNTS
6. Find out about SECRET BANK ACCOUNTS
7. Investigate UNDISCLOSED DEBT

When getting a divorce, it’s important to assemble your team of professionals.

You need to secure your financial future, especially when you get divorced late in life.

Start by figuring out your post-divorce budget and determine what you will need to live on once you are divorced.

To move on post-divorce means to heal your heart. But also to get your financial matters in order so you can finally make peace and get on with your life.